HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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