He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
