I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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