he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
how does that bad decision feel?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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