she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
