HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
