At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
