So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
