I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
