as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize