Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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