I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
