whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
