Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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