I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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