I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
