I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
