my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
