Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
