i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
