5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
