Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
