She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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