Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
