There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
