I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
