we have pet lesbian snakes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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