I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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