we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
