I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
