that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Say something about gay babies.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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