i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
