Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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