kristin has been a bad kristin
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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