he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
