Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
