i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
