you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
