my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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