Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
