You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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