I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize