like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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