You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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