what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im about as happy as oj after his trial
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
