out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
