ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
