what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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