Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize