So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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