Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
