bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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