We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize