even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This baby is an asshole
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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