It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
