He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
