so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
