oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
