Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
