He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The beer is more important than you right now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
