Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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