I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
